Season 2006-2007

NEWCASTLE UNITED

1 v 0

PORTSMOUTH

Whey day started with a phone call from a mate who'd been on the shandies last night, and who I get a lift off: “Cannot mek it.  I've got bad guts”.

“OK” I thought, “I'll just drop the car off at me mams and get the Metro in, so I'll not have to park in Toon”.

So I got owa to me mam's at 11:30, her and wor kid had gone out, so the dog had to sit through an hour of the A-Team with me.  Class telly. Twenty five past 12 and I grab me jacket and have a slow walk over to Four Lane Ends Metro. I get a ticket, a rip off at £2, and go down to the platform just in time to catch the end of an announcement. People who where already waiting started saying “bloody hell”, “For f***s sake” and started pulling out mobile phones then wandering off.  10 mins past and the announcement was run again “ Would passengers please note that trains between Benton and St James are not running due to a technical fault”. “Nee probs”, I thought, “I'm at Four Lane Ends.  Howld the f***ing bus! That's from Benton, all the way round the coast to St James!  That includes here”. PANIC!

“I could just tek the car! No the traffic is sh!te, you'll not mek it.  No! I need to lift! And fast! Did you shout all that or think it? Erm....Think it.  Good coz people would have thought y' nuts.  Now move!”

Sprint back up the stairs.  The queue for the bus was a mile long! A phone call to Confused_Goat.  “What time y' leaving for the match?”

“Now”
“Can I have a lift”
“Aye”
“I'll be over in 5 mins”

Any way to cut a long, and already crap, story short, it took 15 min to get owa the Goat.  He drove at warp speed into Toon.  We parked up at Warners.  Then quick marched to the ground. It was obvious that loads of people were held up by the metro probs coz there were still huge queues outside St James' and the music was playing for when the teams walk on the pitch. A quicker march round to gate 18, where a nice surprise was waiting.  Freddy was trying to quieting the screaming masses by giving us scarfs.  And it worked.

The game itself was a really entertaining affair for all there were not that many shots on goal.

First half: We had a good shout for a pen when Dyre had his legs swiped away by their keeper. Martins superbly chipped the ball into their net only for the lines man to raise his flag for an offside (it looked flippin close).  That linesman was a bit dodgy coz he seemed to tek for ever to stick his flag up on more than a couple of occasions.   Parker had gone over to the bench to get treated before 15 min was played. It didn't work coz less then 10 mins later he was subbed off for Butt. We kept battling but just couldn't find a way through.  Portsmouth made very few attempts on goal and Kanu was left up on his tod for long periods of the half. David James (and his dodgy haircut) was had a busier time preventing his own team from scoring than he did stopping the Toon.

Second half:  Portsmouth where forced to make a sub during half time, Stefanovic who looks like he'll require a knee on Monday.   Milner was involved in a heavy challenge and hobbled out with less than 3 mins of the half played.  Super Sibierski came on in replacement.  Harry Rednapp (another manager y'd just want to kick in the face) must have gave his team a good rollicking at half time as they started brightly and ruled the play for the first 15 mins of the half.  He made a change and their team sorta fell to bits.  The pace of Zogs, Dyer and Martins started to tell and it was the former who laid of a great ball to Super Sib, who slotted it home with 69 mins gone. David James first half warm up with his players paid off as he made some excellent saves against Dyer, Emre and Super Sib. Zogs hobbled off with 10 mins to go, Luque came on. And that was it. If it wasn't for James it could have been 3 or 4 nil.  All in all a thoroughly enjoyable game.

St James' MOTM: Solano
My MOTM: Dyer

Rubbish Player: Ramage.  First touch = rubbish. Marking = rubbish. Passing = rubbish. He made one decent tackle and that was it. Hurry back Baba or Wots-his-face.

Top chant: 21 or 28? 21 or 28? 21 or 28? Obafemi Martins!

Bossy Announcement: “When the Magpies come out for the second half you have wave y' scarfs”. Not a please or thank you in sight.
 

AUSSIE MAGS