First half: Boring.  Second half: Appalling

The Toon started brightly both halves, and the possession paid off nearly 20 mins in with a dodgy pen decision, which Shovel slotted yem.  I missed it coz I was trying to tek a photo, only for some big handed bint to stick her fist in the way. (See above)  After that Bolton made a half hearted attempt to get back into the game.  The rest of the 45 min was a story of bad final balls into both boxes, tho Bolton nearly pulled one back when Parker knocked the ball back to Harper who then had to pull a fantastic double save from Anelka and then Davies.

The Toon started the second half the same as the first with Martins lashing a shot across the face of goal.  Then it all went wrong.  This seems to be the pattern of things recently.  A different team came out for the Toon, a team that just cannot be bothered.  A long ball was played over to the far right of our defence.  Carr jumped too early and Anelka was able to take the ball comfortably.  At this point Carr should have pulled up a chair and had him self a cupper coz the effort he put in trying to win the ball back was a joke.  He must have thought “I'll just nonchalantly jog back to box, everything will be ok” .  Anelka whipped the ball to Diouf who slotted it home.  No sooner had the game restarted than Campo crossed a simple ball from a free kick.  Diouf could have got a sleeping bag out, have 20 mins kip, get up and make a cupper and some toast, watch a bit on Antiques  Road show and would have still got to the ball to slot in his second.   The finish couldn't come quick enough after that, with Newcastle making no effort at all to get back into the game.  This was without doubt the s***est game of football I've seen under Roeder, who looked like he was ready to burst into tears in the post match interview.

The Toon

Harper – Couldn't be faulted for the goals.  Left exposed by appalling defending.
Carr – Sorry I cannot describe how utterly appalling he was without breaking into a 40 min rant.
Moore -  Solid the first, couldn't be bothered the second
Bramble – Solid first.  Left Diouf a load of space for his second.
Ramage – Missed an open goal first half.  Got dragged into the centre too often forcing Duff to play further back.  Was rubbish.
Solano – Forgot he was on the pitch.
Emre – Ran his legs off first half.  Did sweat FA the second.
Parker – Him and Speed cancelled each other out.
Duff – Got to the by line but the ball in was poor.  Swapped to the right side when Zogs came on for Solano.
Shovel – Scored his pen and did nowt else.
Martins – A lack of a quality supply put paid to his afternoon.

Sub
Zogs – Came on but did nowt.
Rossi – See Zogs

St James' MotM: Harper (but that sums up the game)

My MotM: Harper

The Oppo
Where nothing stunning, which make this defeat even harder to take.  Diouf thrived of the booing by the Toon Army.

The Oppo supporters
They all shared a taxi up.  Silent till Bolton got their second then their record must got stuck coz they sang the same two songs constantly for the rest of the match.

Ref
Gave us a dodgy pen.  Gave Diouf just about everything he wanted.  Missed a blatant foul on Shovel. Didn't let the game really flow. 2 out of 10

By Rogue Pieman